Previvor: Jennifer Gooch (4)

Painted during TAC session two

"How Far Will You Go To Survive?"
Acrylic on canvas
16" x 20"

Jennifer's Story:

It was brought to my attention several years back that there was genetic mutation in my mom’s family. I always felt I would have to face cancer one day for my mom, aunt and cousin were all survivors of breast cancer and my grandfather

colon cancer. Unfortunately I lost a cousin to pancreatic cancer, a great grandmother, great aunt and two cousins to ovarian cancer.

In January 2009 I had a big scare. Thank goodness they were benign cyst. But it scared me enough to seek genetic counseling immediately. I had known that my aunt and cousin were positive for the BRCA 2 gene mutation, but was not sure about my mom. For some reason my mom was afraid of losing her insurance. But after several months of reassuring her we were covered under the GINA law. She agreed to be tested for me. She too tested positive for the familial BRCA 2 gene mutation. This meant I had a 50% chance of inheriting this risk.

I had a blood draw in June 2009 and my results were back in a couple of weeks. As I sat in my genetic councilors office. She looked at me and said “I am sorry to tell you that you are positive for your families gene mutation.” She reviewed with me again my 50%-90% chance of developing breast cancer and a 30%-60% chance of developing ovarian cancer. Although my heart was saddened, I knew what I must do. There was no question. A prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction and a complete hysterectomy would be the choice for me.

Now the question was which surgery would I choose first? After many hours of pondering, a mastectomy it would be. So as I prepared for my surgery, my wonderful breast surgeon, Dr. Paula DeNitto was so supportive. She helped me choose reconstruction options and a plastic surgeon that I was comfortable with. This was important as my plastic surgeon was one I would be spending a lot of time with over the months to come. I experienced many emotions while preparing for surgery. I constantly asked questions like : Why me? What did I do to deserve this? I even thought I would just keep my breast and chance it. But, I knew at the age of 17 years old what I went through when my mom had breast cancer. And if I could prevent my kids from going through what I went through, I would do anything. Because you see, I am the anchor of my four beautiful children’s lives and it was being tampered with, and it was my obligation to fix it.

January 13, 2010 was the day I had my breast removed. I mark this day as a sad but new beginning for me. I now have a chance at life, breast cancer free. Many factors played a part in my decision whether to have or not to have reconstruction. Growing up with a mom who had chosen not to have reconstruction played a major part in my decision. Considering I was only 33 years at the time of my mastectomy, and planned to live for many long years, living without breast was not the choice for me. I saw how wearing a prosthesis

made my mother feel. She had trouble finding certain clothes and it often affected her self-esteem. I have always been a woman who enjoys fashion and having my breast removed was not about to get in the way. But, I guess the beauty of what I learned through me having reconstruction and my mom having a prosthesis, is that we are both empowered woman in unique but different ways because of our own individual choices.

Out of all the questions I am asked . I seem to be asked the most has my experience affected my self-confidence in terms of my feminity and sexuality. I believe that every woman’s self-confidence is affected by a mastectomy. For me, everyday is a work in process. I can rationalize what I have done and be proud of the choice I made, though the word “normal” will never have the same meaning. But then again, what is normal?

Even though my mastectomy was a prophylactic mastectomy meaning I chose surgery for preventive reasons not because I developed cancer. It has still been somewhat difficult on my family. I have four beautiful children ,who knows what has happened to “mommy”. Since I have a BRCA gene mutation, all four of my children have a 50% chance of inheriting this mutation. I have been very open about what I have done because I feel it is my obligation to educate them about their risk. I often ask myself as I brush my daughters hair, or cradle my sons as we watch a movie: “Will you be the one?” “Will you have to fight the battle one day?”

It is so discouraging knowing you have a hereditary cancer gene that you have possibly passed to your children. When you think about passing hereditary traits to your children you think about your hair color, your eye color, or your personality. But a cancer gene-WOW! What a horrible thing to have to receive from your parent. My two younger children don’t quite understand yet, but my two older ones are learning more and asking questions. When this happens, the only thing I can do is go back to my positive attitude. I have turned my negative energy into positive energy by joining up with FORCE-facing our risk of cancer EMPOWERED. I wanted to bring a support group to my region to help educate and advocate gene carriers, their families and the community. So it is my prayer that at the appropriate age my children will choose genetic counseling with testing. Until then I will continue to make them aware of their risk.

I would like for woman who are facing mastectomies , whether for a cancer diagnosis or preventive reasons, to know that a woman is judged by her strength and dignity, not by her breasts.  So have your mastectomy and wear you scars with pride ,because what you have been through- or about to go through -speaks louder about who you are as a person than any breast ever will. Beauty is only skin deep. Be proud of who you are and where you are going with this experience. May you find the strength you never knew you had…. I did!

I am now labeled as a “Previvor”- survivor of a pre-disposition or increased risk for a disease such as cancer. There may not be a preventive surgery for every form of cancer out there. But I will do whatever it takes to be cancer free. Who knows, cancer may never be a part of my life. But if it is, I will not go down without a fight, for I am an empowered woman who loves life, is determined, and fearless. For that reason I am positively BRCA!

I dedicate my art work to my awesome doctors – Dr. Paula DeNitto and Dr. Thomas w. Horn.

Dr. DeNitto my doctor my friend- Thank you for encouraging me to make that final step and sticking by me through it.

Dr. Horn my doctor my encourager -I have realized it takes pure talent for plastic surgeons to do what they do to give us what we have; and I am so grateful for what your talent has done for me!

Thank you both for making my transition easier. You both will forever be special to me!!!

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